The First Real Day of a New Life

Been a while since I've posted because life just became overwhelming for me.  There for a bit just surviving was taking a lot of energy.  I am hoping that this will all change over the next few months.  One of the ways I have learned to channel my new interests is through Pintrest.

My friends all said once you start Pintrest, it is hard to get off of it.  They were correct.  I tend to look at Pintrest before bed.  I have been having fun finding healthy recipes that I hope to make now that I have the time to make real food.

Today is my first day not on school insurance - that is really awkward as I have been on i for so many years.  I went to PT and she said my co-pay was $50.00 to which I replied - that takes care of PT.  I was super bummed because the therapist I had today really helped my neck - a lot!!  When I got home she (Alisha ) called me back to tell me there had been an error and that there was no co-pay.  A miracle for sure - now I could use one more big one.  I am really about out of money ($328.00) and my retirement did not come.  I will call PSERS to find out if they know when so I can try to make appropriate plans.  At the very least I would like to make sure my mortgage gets paid -  That runs a bit over 1200.00.  I have prayed through this entire mess that God would supply my needs according to his riches and glory.  Or is that in glory?  One thing I do know for sure is that at the end of February I should for sure be getting my retirement and hopefully then I can start getting back on track with my bills.  I have learned to block the calls from the credit card companies - which is fabulous!!!

My therapist comes today - I am relieved he does - This ordeal really has taken quite a toll on me.  I know you wouldn't think so - but the emotional ups and downs of all of this has just left me depleted of ___________________ you fill in the blank - you will probably be correct.  The hefty doses of depression medicine help a lot - I am a bit flat affectively - but better flat than something else.  It's funny though - I can still get depressed a bit even with the meds.

Speaking of Meds.  I forgot to take mine before bed last night.  I had the craziest dreams.  I was being chased by men with guns, I was locked up and tortured, and all of this was happening in the hallways of Ephrata.  Someone will have a field day with that one!  I finally forced myself to wake up because I was so scared.   I had an anxiety attack when I woke up because I heard a noise and thought someone had broken in to the house.  I realized I had not taken my meds. - so I got up and took them. I also checked the lock on the door downstairs to make sure it was locked.  Once I had the meds in me and knew the front door was lucked - After about 10 mins. on Pintrest - I was ready to go back to sleep.  Sleep was much better from this point on.

I am hoping that once my life settles down and I get used to the changes, I can get off some of these meds.  I do know a lot of people take meds. for depression and ADD or ADHD - I also know that when these people start feeling better, they stop taking them.  I know that is a huge mistake.  These meds we take mess with our brain chemistry so much you can't imagine.  Stopping and starting meds. is like starting and stopping your car - eventually the starter will go.  Remember - if you take them and you are feeling good - it is because of the medicine that you are feeling good - nothing you've done.  Guaranteed that if you suddenly go off - you will not feel so good!!

Even though I am at the twilight of my life - I feel like I am suddenly learning again - and almost back in high school.  New things to learn and learning more about me.  I wish all of you the same -  And I will try to keep my blog going a little more regularly.


Cheers!

When I became Nigel - the British guy with the bad accent!

I am pretty sure that when I was in College the Olympics were held in London.  Also at this time I was the President of our dorm counsel.  It turned out that the night of our meeting, was also the night of the ladies long program for ice skating.  There was NO WAY I was going to miss this night of skating.  We met in one of the big common spaces in the dorm.  I went up early and set up my portable TV so I could have it on and keep my eye on the screen during the meeting.  For some reason - and who knows what that reason was - I began speaking with a British accent and started calling myself Nigel.  The members of the counsel thought this was hilarious.  The secretary, Marsha, was awesome in writing the minutes.  Her minutes for this meeting was no exception.  Naturally when the skaters came on, the meeting stopped in its tracks.  The meeting would continue during the commercials.  Most of the members were not annoyed with me, but rather completely amused at my accent and my commitment to watching figure skating.  In the end, we managed to get our work done for the counsel planning activities and I got to watch my skating and teach my friends about skating.  As a side note - in my 30's a skating rink opened near my house.  Eventually I decided that I was going to take lessons to see if I did have the potential to be a figure skater, something I was told in my youth.  Turns out - I did - and though there are some regrets about not following that passion,  I know that there was no way  my parents could have afforded lessons and competition for me.  I did learn that for as easy as the skaters make it look, it is NOT.  Catching a blade, knocking yourself off balance, crumbling to the ice, sliding quite quickly on your back and butt into the boards at full speed is NOT fun.  I tip my hat to all figures skaters because that is one hard sport!!!!!