Been a while since I've posted because life just became overwhelming for me. There for a bit just surviving was taking a lot of energy. I am hoping that this will all change over the next few months. One of the ways I have learned to channel my new interests is through Pintrest.
My friends all said once you start Pintrest, it is hard to get off of it. They were correct. I tend to look at Pintrest before bed. I have been having fun finding healthy recipes that I hope to make now that I have the time to make real food.
Today is my first day not on school insurance - that is really awkward as I have been on i for so many years. I went to PT and she said my co-pay was $50.00 to which I replied - that takes care of PT. I was super bummed because the therapist I had today really helped my neck - a lot!! When I got home she (Alisha ) called me back to tell me there had been an error and that there was no co-pay. A miracle for sure - now I could use one more big one. I am really about out of money ($328.00) and my retirement did not come. I will call PSERS to find out if they know when so I can try to make appropriate plans. At the very least I would like to make sure my mortgage gets paid - That runs a bit over 1200.00. I have prayed through this entire mess that God would supply my needs according to his riches and glory. Or is that in glory? One thing I do know for sure is that at the end of February I should for sure be getting my retirement and hopefully then I can start getting back on track with my bills. I have learned to block the calls from the credit card companies - which is fabulous!!!
My therapist comes today - I am relieved he does - This ordeal really has taken quite a toll on me. I know you wouldn't think so - but the emotional ups and downs of all of this has just left me depleted of ___________________ you fill in the blank - you will probably be correct. The hefty doses of depression medicine help a lot - I am a bit flat affectively - but better flat than something else. It's funny though - I can still get depressed a bit even with the meds.
Speaking of Meds. I forgot to take mine before bed last night. I had the craziest dreams. I was being chased by men with guns, I was locked up and tortured, and all of this was happening in the hallways of Ephrata. Someone will have a field day with that one! I finally forced myself to wake up because I was so scared. I had an anxiety attack when I woke up because I heard a noise and thought someone had broken in to the house. I realized I had not taken my meds. - so I got up and took them. I also checked the lock on the door downstairs to make sure it was locked. Once I had the meds in me and knew the front door was lucked - After about 10 mins. on Pintrest - I was ready to go back to sleep. Sleep was much better from this point on.
I am hoping that once my life settles down and I get used to the changes, I can get off some of these meds. I do know a lot of people take meds. for depression and ADD or ADHD - I also know that when these people start feeling better, they stop taking them. I know that is a huge mistake. These meds we take mess with our brain chemistry so much you can't imagine. Stopping and starting meds. is like starting and stopping your car - eventually the starter will go. Remember - if you take them and you are feeling good - it is because of the medicine that you are feeling good - nothing you've done. Guaranteed that if you suddenly go off - you will not feel so good!!
Even though I am at the twilight of my life - I feel like I am suddenly learning again - and almost back in high school. New things to learn and learning more about me. I wish all of you the same - And I will try to keep my blog going a little more regularly.
Cheers!
