People, People Who Need People are the Luckiest People in the World

Part of the problem I am having now is not feeling comfortable around people.  If you know me that is not usually a problem for me.  This happened about 13-14 years ago.  It kept me from going into shopping malls and any place where I was inside and there were a lot of people. This time it is not quite so bad, though I still struggle with this a bit.  It was funny that yesterday, I felt that way a little, but because I was having trouble walking on the uneven surfaces and the distances - I did not have time to focus on that because I was concentrating on not falling.  I went to a tailgate - which was fun and everyone was really nice, yet I still found myself feeling like I needed to get lost in a wall somewhere.  Once I got into the stadium, I did not think much about all the people and just concentrated on the game.  It is funny because after a day like yesterday, and I suppose this has to do with spending the day with Anthony, I feel kind of lost and lonely because there is no one around.  It seems odd that my anxiety and panic kicks up in only certain situations.  I also think it is odd that I don't want to be around people and yet after I force myself to do that I feel better, but afterward the loneliness is worse.  Yes I have a dog and a cat and I love them to death, but they can't talk to me.  I can talk to them, and do, but they do not answer back except with their eyes, tales, and ability to cuddle.  I know there are others who deal with the same feelings, and that helps to know.  I just don't know where this came from.  I have not been like this for about 13 years - I feel like I've lost my mojo - and that is not a good feeling.