First let me say that I fear that almost no matter what I say - if either of my brothers or family members read this it could spell trouble.   Therefore this post will be about me and not so much about them.  When I was in graduate school a few years ago for Clinical Psych.,  we talked about birth order quite a bit and how it has an effect on each child.  I suppose there are probably many of these charts floating around the internet. I just happened to come across this one.  I think it is safe to say that "one size" does not fit all when it comes to issues of psychology.  Usually situations are more complex than a simple chart.  Most of these charts need to be seen for what they are; some kind of a guide to help explain certain personality qualities or characteristics. Naturally they are fun to look at and see how much you are like who you are supposed to be!  Take me for example,  I am a last child but because of my brother's ages compared to mine, I was raised more like an only child.  Truth be told, by the time I was starting to become a little boy who wanted to play sports and be active, my dad was just about all out of energy.  My brother Bob picked up that slack, and had me outside playing baseball, giving me a concussion playing football (so now you know the truth :-)  and we played basketball.  Sadly I never grew really enough to play any of those sports but baseball.  Despite my twirling proclivities, my hand eye coordination - when it came to baseball - was pathetic.   I just didn't get the concept of swinging the bat at the ball - no I mean at the ball with purpose.  If I ever got a hit, it was pure divine intervention - and can assure you I had no hand in that.  It wasn't long before Bob went off to college, and I was left to my own devices except when he came home.  I liked wrestling with him, and when he became and assistant wrestling coach, he worked with me.  Bring on concussion number 2.  He accidentally slammed me to the floor in one of our wrestling bouts!  (Somehow I think you are all getting the picture here with my brain :-)  

As I grew older and Bob was around less, there were few peers in my neighborhood.   I had to entertain myself and so started the twirling thing.  It was athletic, despite what some thought, and I could do it by myself.  It turns out that by myself was how I spent a large chunk of my teenage years.  But this story is not about all of that, this is about birth order.  So for the sake of this post I will look at both the last born and only child.  Why?  As I said - by the age of five I was an only child pretty much. 

 I was not,  am still not much of risk taker, however I was very close to my mother.  My relationship with my father did not really flourish until we moved to Lancaster in the late 80's.  Pretty much most of my life I wanted Mom to divorce him as I did not feel like he was treating her well, and I was pretty much verbally abused most of my early and teenage years.  Which takes me to sensitive and sense of humor.  I was very - no wait - I am very sensitive.  I am hurt easily (not like in my teens) but I am hurt easily.  Bur on the flip side of that, I also believe I have a really good sense of humor.  Hey growing up me - a sense of humor was a requirement for sure.  I am mostly out-going but it has only been since I began therapy that I was able to gain some self-control.  I can look back now and see how, at times, I was way out of control!  Many might say I am self-centered.  I can tell you that I work really hard not to be, and if I sense that I am being self-centered - I try to cool it.  Mature - that makes me laugh.  20 plus years of working with teenagers keeps you young.  I am still waiting to hit my growth spurt and grow up!!!  I know it is going to be a very long wait!!!  Financially Irresponsible  - where can I begin? If you ask my brothers they will probably tell you I am way irresponsible and it gets blamed on being the only child.  After having a serious bought with depression in 2000, and then having to go through a bankruptcy due to the depression.  Yes folks, like many who go through depression, they by things because they think it will make them feel happy.  I ended up playing credit card roulette.  And back then, being on time was not possible for me.   I was always just slightly more than fashionably late- I was annoyingly late!  Back then this was actually something I seemed to enjoy.  As far as being competitive is concerned - you do not win the awards I did in high school by not being competitive.  This trait is pretty strong throughout many of the Harker's and passed down through generations.  We are a competitive bunch for sure!  I never saw myself as demanding, quite the contrary, and in fact, I have often felt that I need to step that part of me up a bit.  I do get bored easily for sure, especially since all the knee surgeries.  This is because up until about two years ago, I was still taking my flags, rifle, and saber to empty parking lots to practice.  That has always been my escape.  The iPod has made that so easy to take your music with you, and you don't bother others.  They just think you are crazy jumping and dancing around with color guard equipment in your hands and there is no music!!!  What's that old saying, "Do me wrong once, shame on you.  Do me wrong twice shame on me."  I don't completely operate that way, I generally give a few more chances than one, but once you have done me dirty too many times, I have to be honest, I move on.  And really who does not like to be pampered?  That alone is such a general statement as most of these really are.  I love going to a massage therapist and having a great massage.  I can't afford it now and miss it, but there is a bit of pampering I love!!  Private - really - I am spilling my guts on this blog!  I would have to say that private just does not fit me.  For the most part, I am an open book, if you take the time to get to know me.  

That covers them all.  I could go on and talk about how some fit my brother and some do not.  As I said, not that I think either of them are reading this, there is no reason to start a war.  Some fit them and some are not even close, but as I said, many of these are not a real scientific measure of a person's birth order personality.  They are great fun to look at and compare to, but generally unless you are looking at a tested instrument, these are more of a guide than facts.  Have fun with it and see how you fit in, have your friends do it too.  One of these charts is a great way to launch some good genuine conversation and that is never a bad thing.  

And remember that families come in all shapes and sizes today!!!!