Robin Williams has started a full-fledge dialogue

I wrote earlier about depression.  I write because I have personal experience with it and know how serious it can be.  No one really knows or understands how serious this issue is, but the loss of someone like Robin Williams has really rocketed the issue to the forefront.  What I am posting is a a Facebook post from one of my former students Monica.  I met Monica when she was in 8th grade.  As I recall she was in a car accident that nearly took her life.  As you will read she had to struggle with a mother who struggled as well.  Monica really had the deck stacked against her, but she was stubborn and a fighter.  She never gave up - never!  She had a rough life, but she is a mom now and from what I can tell - a darn good one too!  I am really proud at how hard Monica worked to make sure her life and her children's were better.  She has an amazing sense of humor which is often born out of struggle.  I think humor can balance that sadness and anxiety that can plague us.

Monica is responding to the posts that called Robin a coward for completing suicide.  I read that there was a FOX newscaster that made that remark.  This has been the opinion of those completing suicide.  Mental health officials have been trying to change those attitudes to help people understand that usually by the time a person reaches this point - they have already been fighting a difficult battle and they just can't fight anymore.  It is hard for those left behind to imagine that someone can really feel like that - but they do.  None of us really know what is going on in someone's mind.  When these events happen we tell people to look for signs and to reach out and help.  That helps if the person who needs help wants it, but often people who are feeling this way withdraw from life and relationships.  Sometimes the more we try to help the more they withdraw.  It is very difficult in these situations.

I've spent the last day inside myself, reading the worlds reaction to the shocking suicide of a household name, a man that lifted us, sometimes when nothing else could and I have to say it's brought me down a few pegs. What a tragic loss of a beautiful life. I try not to be horribly negative or dramatic on the interwebs but lately I have found it within myself to share bits and pieces of what's going on in my life and it's obvious that it's been a rough road lately. You see, I have a mother who, in all intents and purposes was my only parental figure growing up and at times, she was great! Best. Mom. Ever! But throughout her life she battled demons that not even the love of a child could penetrate. As long as I can remember she was some sort of mentally ill but it wasn't until the last ten years that it progressed and pretty much swallowed her whole. Sometimes I look at her and still see the mom and friend I once had but it's mostly a shell of a woman I love so much it hurts. Her situation, like so many others has been undoubtably mishandled for so many years that there really is no going back. Doctors have prescribed drug after drug just hoping the next one works only to find that it's not only ineffective but it's making her symptoms worse. I guess what I'm trying to get at is, mental illness is no joke and I've seen the debilitating affects that it can cause first hand. There is a darkness and it needs to be taken seriously. Don't go out and judge a man who couldn't pull out of the deepest depths of his own private hell just because you think he should have sought help instead of taking it into his own hands. Don't call him a coward because he fought one of the hardest battles and that was his own mind. Instead of judging, maybe look at the big picture and realize just how serious mental illness is and how desperately we have to improve the care involved. Please, I am not looking for sympathy on my behalf, I'm just sick of seeing this kind of shit happen and and the negativity that follows.

I am not suggesting not to help or not to reach out to those in need, but you have to make sure they do not have a plan - if they have a plan - the situation is more serious and needs intervention immediately by professionals.  Through my experiences and my clinical psych background and years of therapy, I have learned to have a plan if I feel like I am going over the edge.  My plan is to check myself in a hospital if I feel like I can't go on.  Knowing that I have that plan has been the wake up call that I am in really bad shape.  This has helped me work harder at pulling myself out.  There are those who take medication for depression and other mental disorders - It is really important for those taking them to keep taking them and not to stop if they feel better.  That is why they feel better - the medication.  Go off and on medication can actually cause more trouble.  If you are on medications - stay on them - if you want to stop - talk to your doctor to arrange that process.  You are taking meds that mess with your brain - you need to remember that and take that into consideration when you start making these types of decisions.